Parental Alienation: A Mental Diagnosis?

Some experts say the extreme hatred some kids feel toward a parent in a divorce is a mental illness.

By Lindsay Lyon
Posted October 29, 2009

From an early age, Anne was taught by her mother to fear her father. Behind his back, her mom warned that he was an unpredictable and dangerous; any time he'd invite her to do anything—a walk in the woods, a trip to the art store—she would craft an excuse not to go.
"I was under the impression that he was crazy, that at any moment he could just pop and do something violent to hurt me," says Anne, who prefers that only her middle name be used to guard her family's privacy. Typical of a phenomenon some mental-health experts now label "parental alienation," her view of him became so negative, she says, that her mother persuaded her to lie during a custody hearing when the couple divorced. Then 14, she told the judge that her dad was physically abusive. Was he? "No," she says. "But I was convinced that he would [be]." After her mother won custody, Anne all but severed contact with her father for years.

If a growing faction of the mental-health community has its way, Anne's experience will one day soon be an actual diagnosis. The concept of parental alienation, which is highly controversial, is being described as one in which children strongly attach to one parent and reject the other in the false belief that he or she is bad or dangerous. "It's heartbreaking," says William Bernet, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and professor at Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, "to have your 10-year-old suddenly, in a matter of weeks, go from loving you and hiking with you...to saying you're a horrible, ugly person." These aren't kids who simply prefer one parent over the other, he says. That's normal. These kids doggedly resist contact with a parent, sometimes permanently, out of an irrational hate or fear.

Bernet is leading an effort to add "parental alienation" to the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the American Psychiatric Association's "bible" of diagnoses, scheduled for 2012. He and some 50 contributing authors from 10 countries will make their case in the American Journal of Family Therapy early next year. Inclusion, says Bernet, would spur insurance coverage, stimulate more systematic research, lend credence to a charge of parental alienation in court, and raise the odds that children would get timely treatment.

But many experts balk at labeling the phenomenon an official disorder. "I really get concerned about spreading the definition of mental illness too wide," says Elissa Benedek, a child and adolescent psychiatrist in Ann Arbor, Mich., and a past president of the APA. There's no question in her mind that kids become alienated from a loving parent in many divorces with little or no justification, and she's seen plenty of kids kick and scream all the way to the car when visitation is enforced. But, she says, "this is not a mentally ill child."

The phenomenon has been described for many decades, but it became a cause célèbre in 1985, when Richard Gardner, a clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University, coined the term "parental alienation syndrome." As more dads fought fiercely for joint custody, he observed a surge in the number of children suffering from a distinct cluster of symptoms, including a "campaign of denigration" against one parent that sometimes included a false sex-abuse accusation and automatic parroting of the other parent's views.

But sound research supporting a medical label is scant, critics say. The American Psychological Association has issued a statement that "there is no evidence within the psychological literature of a diagnosable parental alienation syndrome." What's more, concern has grown that "PAS" could be invoked by an abusive parent to gain rights to a child who has good reason to refuse contact, says Janet Johnston, a clinical sociologist and justice studies professor at San Jose State University who has studied parental alienation. In teens, she notes, parental rejection might be a developmentally normal response. Anecdotal reports have surfaced that some kids labeled as "alienated" have become suicidal when courts have ordered a change of custody to the "hated" parent, she says.

In any case, divorcing parents should be aware that hostilities may seriously harm the kids. Sometimes manipulation is blatant, as with parents who conceal phone calls, gifts, or letters, then use the "lack of contact" as proof that the other parent doesn't love the child. Sometimes the influence is more subtle ("I'm sure nothing bad will happen to you at Mommy's house") or even unintentional ("I've put a cellphone in your suitcase. Call when everyone's asleep to tell me you're OK"). It's important to shield kids from harmful communication, says Richard Warshak, a clinical professor of psychology at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center and author of Divorce Poison. If something potentially upsetting about an ex must be conveyed, he advises imagining how you would have handled the conversation while happily married; how would you have explained Mom's depression, say?

More- Parental Alienation: A Mental Diagnosis? - US News and World Report

Know thyself..

It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself* you will you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle.

~ Sun Tzu

Some of you maybe wondering what the hell is this "know yourself" bullshit about anyway?

For as long as you look through a magnifying glass and not a mirror.. You have given your power to the enemy!

You will only know yourself once you can define every one of your weaknesses and strengths after careful reflection.. including where and how they originated...

When you know why you do what it is that you do, or don't do.. and can define where that originated..and why.. and whether or not it works for you or against you in the long run.

You must be able to list your weaknesses and strengths faster than your enemy can..because if they know you better than you know yourself.. they will have figured out how to use "you" against yourself to win!

You will only know "you" when you are concious of, and have a well thought out, good reason for why you are about to do something..or did something... and know the consequenes of those actions and are ok with dealing with them.

Once you know your triggers better than your enemy does... and you know why they are triggers or weak points within yourself and are able to control them.

Once you fully understand that a trigger (something that causes an angry outburst) is not a reaction to the here and now- but a reaction to something that hurt you long ago, that you can now identify.

Once you can look your enemy in the eye and say "you were able to push my buttons because" ... then really know what weakness you have that allowed you to have buttons to begin with.

Once we can label and face our weaknesses- they no longer hold power over us- they then become strengths!

Ehh the list goes on and on.. but the above is a great starting point!

In order to change the output, we must change the input.

Wow- that's all I can say...

In this article (below) there is a gentleman named Richard. Hmmm, Richard reminds me of a few people near and dear to me.

I hope they've found this blog and really pay attention to the entire article below.. it can and will change their lives forever.. if only they hear what's being said.. as Richard finally did!

If you want to know why you suffer from so much emotional pain..and how... ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE THAT PAIN- then this (link below) is a must read!

Keep in mind that near the end of the article.. there will be a gift more important to you than any gift you have ever recieved or will recieve..

THE SIMPLE- KEY TO A PAIN-FREE LIFE! Follow the external link and invest the time in your future to really read the entire article..

Are you in enough pain to hear the truth now- so you can change the input ENOUGH that's causing the pain? No? Ehh it's all good- one day you will be, save this link for then!

Use the + at the top of the article (header) to make the font easier to read. ~

[PDF]

2 WHAT CAUSES OUR PAIN? Pain, like all feelings, ...

The thought that we are responsible for our lives can be difficult the first ... Your reality arises from inside you. My words are just a trigger for what ... changes on the outside. Until you take charge of your internal reality structure , you are .... cause our feelings , it only resonates what is already there. ...

http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LndoeWFnYWluLmNvbS9ib29rLWVuL2VuMDAxMi5wZGY=

Don't miss yesterdays very related blog on the Borg

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Could there be Borg here on Earth?

Yanno, I hardly watch television.

For some reason I turned the T.V. on yesterday and found myself wathing "Witness to...."

Each Story was told by witnesses to the inside different Cults... If I have to say it myself.. it was very interesting to watch- from a very "aware" state of mind.

Anywho.. when all was said and done..

The question was: Could there be Borg here on Earth.

Borg (Star Trek) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Answer is: Duhhhh of course there are!

What do the Borg, Cults and Alienated Children aka Enmeshed Families have in common?

An egotistical, selfish, evil manipulator.. as a leader..

One who can and will manipulate the unknowing into ugly consequences in their personal lives (sabotaging their lives) for the greater of the collective aka selfish leader!

Meanwhile the manipulated go about their days believing the thoughts that are causing havoc and pain in their lives are their own. (think-- don't drink the koolaid- Jim Jones- Jamestown- over 900 people willingly without thought drank the koolaid and died- knowing this was why they were drinking it)

Thank God for denial, justification, dismissal and distraction, projection, assimilation an cybernetic implants or those that have been manipulated might just snap out on the leader if they allowed themselves to see reality in all it's glory!

In order to do that- they would have to love themselves (be concerned with thier happiness) more than they were taught to "love and obey" the leader- and step outside the picture and ask themselves..

What if this is true- what if.. all the things I've learned to justify, deny or ignore were really unconcious learned behavior (cause that's the way it always was) to do what was in the best interest of the leader... without any concious thought given- just act on auto pilot?

Would my life.. my pain.. and my problems.. make more sense then?

If the answer is yes.. then perhaps it's time for a wake-up call-- A reality check!

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Ohio: Children Sue Over Adoption

Two Ohio teenagers forced by their adoptive parents to sleep in cages have sued the couple and caseworkers who arranged the adoptions.

The lawsuit was filed Tuesday in Cuyahoga County Common Pleas Court in Cleveland on behalf of Sharen Torrence, 18, and Michael Gravelle, 17. Their adoptive parents, Michael and Sharen Gravelle, named the children after them.

The couple are now serving two-year prison terms for abusing some of their 11 adopted special-needs children. The suit also names caseworkers and the Hamilton County Department of Job and Family Services in Cincinnati.

It said the Gravelles were unfit to be parents and should never have gotten custody of the children. Julie Wilson, a spokeswoman for the Hamilton County prosecutor’s office, declined to comment.

National Briefing - Midwest - Ohio - Children Sue Over Adoption - NYTimes.com

Teen found in Times Square doesn't know who she is

Authorities are pleading for the public's help identifying a "Jane Doe" teen with amnesia who has been in the city's care for two weeks.

One of the few clues to her background is that she's able to recall words from a 2003 fantasy novel, "Fool's Fate."

"I just want to know who I am," the teen, estimated by doctors to be between 14 and 17 years old, was quoted as saying. "I want to know who I am and what happened to me."

In what an official described as an "extraordinary case," cops picked up the teen on Oct. 9 at 12:30 a.m. outside the Covenant House shelter at 460 W. 41st St., near the Port Authority Bus Terminal.

She was wearing tattered clothing, including green army pants, but had no ID.

She had no memory of her name, home or family. A fingerprint check produced nothing.

Tom Manning, a Covenant House spokesman, said she wasn't a resident at the shelter and workers there don't know her.

Officials said the blond, spiky-haired, soft-spoken girl has undergone testing by police experts and psychiatrists, who are convinced she isn't faking.

For two weeks, the Administration for Children's Services has been trying to track down her identity without luck.

"She is safe with us, and we are doing all we can to help her, but she needs to find her family," said ACS Commissioner John Mattingly.

Officials believe the young woman isn't from the city.

She is 5-foot-6 with a medium build, with poorly maintained teeth and blue eyes.

She has been reviewing materials designed to help students pass GED exams for high school and says she's able to do the math but has no memory of reading the history and science materials.

At one point, she wrote down the name "Amber" and responded when called by that name.

Original Article-

Teen found in Times Square doesn't know who she is

Balloon boy's parents to face criminal charges, sheriff says

A sheriff said Saturday that his office will file criminal charges in the case of a 6-year-old boy who vanished into the rafters of his garage while the world thought he was zooming through the sky in aflying saucer-like helium balloon.

PHOTOS: Boy found safe after balloon floats away

After the boy’s parents, Richard and Mayumi Heene, met with sheriff’s officials for much of the afternoon, Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden didn’t say who would be charged or what the charges would be, but he did say the parents spoke to investigators voluntarily and weren’t under arrest.

Alderden previously said that if the balloon ordeal was a hoax, the parents could be charged with making a false report to authorities, a low-level misdemeanor.

“We were looking at Class 3 misdemeanor, which hardly seems serious enough given the circumstances,” Alderden said Saturday.

“We are talking to the district attorney, federal officials to see if perhaps there aren’t additional federal charges that are appropriate in this circumstance.” He said deputies were seeking a search warrant for the family’s home, and there would be more information at a news conference Sunday.

The Heenes were expected to speak to reporters outside their home later Saturday, after a strange day that began with Richard Heene knocking on the windows of journalists camped outside his home and promising a “big announcement.” A few hours later, he did an about-face when he told reporters that they should leave questions in a cardboard box on the front doorstep.

As Heene walked away, a reporter shouted, “Can you tell us once and for all if this is a hoax?” “Absolutely no hoax. I want your questions in the box,” Heene said, waving a cardboard container before going back into his home.

A circus-like atmosphere formed outside, including men holding signs and occasionally yelling “balloon boy.” One sign read, “Put balloon boy on TV: America’s Most Wanted.” Other gawkers carried aluminum-foilstovetop popcorn makers that resembled the silvery balloon launched from the family’s backyard Thursday, with Falcon believed to be onboard.

While Richard and Mayumi Heene were at the sheriff’s office, the couple’s three sons remained home, apparently being watched by sheriff’s officials. Authorities wouldn’t comment on what was happening.

Alderden had said that he wanted to re-interview the family after Falcon told CNN that “you said we did this for a show” when asked why he didn’t come out of his hiding place. Then Falcon got sick during twoseparate TV interviews when asked why he hid.

The balloon was supposed to be tethered to the ground when it lifted off, and no one was supposed to be aboard. A video of the launch shows the family counting down in unison, “3, 2, 1,” before Richard Heene pulls a cord, setting the balloon into the air.

“Whoa!” one of the boys exclaims. Then his father says in disbelief, “Oh, my God!” He then says to someone, “You didn’t put the (expletive) tether down!” and he kicks the wood frame that had held the balloon.

Falcon’s brother said he saw him inside the compartment before it took off and that’s why they thought he was in there when it launched. Heene said he had yelled at Falcon before the launch for getting inside.Alderden said earlier that he thinks it’s likely that Falcon ran off because he was scared of getting in trouble, later falling asleep in his hiding spot. He said he doubted that such a hyperactive boy could beordered to stay quiet for the five hours he was missing.

Over the years, Richard Heene has worked as a storm chaser, a handyman and contractor, and an aspiring reality-TV star.

He and his family appeared on the ABC reality show “Wife Swap,” and the show’s producer said it had a show in development with the Heenes but the deal is now off. TLC also said Heene had pitched a reality show to the network months ago, but it passed on the offer.

Despite his attempts to get on TV, Heene insisted Saturday that he didn’t know what kinds of questions were being asked about him because he didn’t have cable. “I’m going to place the box out front. Please write your questions down, because friends are telling methey’re saying this and that. I have no idea what the news is saying,” Heene said.

PHOTOS: Boy found safe after balloon floats away

Balloon boy's parents to face criminal charges, sheriff says

Balloon boy: Falcon Heene's father called TV station before police - Telegraph